Sex is Everywhere

Wow. You're in college. No parents, no curfew, alcohol everywhere, and everyone wants to get laid, RIGHT? Okay, so not everyone wants to get laid. The only way to find out what your partner wants is by communicating with them. Safer sex communication is important for many reasons.

Did you know...

• 1 in 4 college students have been infected with an STI or transmitted an STI to their sexual partner.
• About 50% of all Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) occur in people under the age of 25.
• In a survey of college students, 13% of the students surveyed had more than 1 sex partner in the preceding month.
• 62% reported using condoms "infrequently" or "never."

What you need to know about yourself before communicating with your partner

• Learn how STIs are transmitted and how unintended pregnancies occur.
• Educate yourself about STI/HIV prevention and contraception.
• Trust your intuition.
• Stand by your beliefs. Don't let someone talk you out of the standards you have set for yourself.
• Most importantly; know what you want.
• If you aren't sure what you want, take time to consider your personal beliefs and values, and educate yourself about STIs/HIV and methods of contraception. If you decide to have sex, think about what protection you are willing to use and have it on hand. Plan in advance on how you will discuss these issues with your partner.

Benefits of open communication

• Better sex
• More consistent use of contraception
• Busting myths and breaking stereotypes about sexuality
• Less embarrassment
• Increased likelihood of using safer sex techniques
• Less stress

Talking to your Partner

• Don't worry if you feel embarrassed. It is totally normal and okay. Just don't let embarrassment keep you from talking about what you want and need to take care of yourself.
• Start the conversation before you take off your clothes or getting into an intimate situation.
• Choose a comfortable, appropriate time and place to talk.
• Some level of negotiation may be necessary. Remember, your partner is probably just as concerned or nervous as you are.
• Be honest about what you want and feel. It's okay to tell your partner you are nervous/scared/embarrassed!
• Open communication also means self-disclosure.
• Listen to your partner's feelings and opinions.
• Be able to laugh about sex. It will help you relax.
• Communicating honestly and effectively with your partner will lead to further intimacy and help develop a deeper, healthier relationship.

Remember, talking about sex can be a turn on and it can be fun. Becoming good at anything (including communication and sex) takes time and practice.

Whew, we've have "that" conversation. Now what?

• Discuss what you like and dislike.
• The best way to get what you want from sex is to ask for it, for example: how often, who initiates, opinions about fantasy, orgasm, etc.
• Remember to express your dislikes in a sensitive manner.

Safer Sex Practices

• Alcohol and drugs impair judgment so BE SOBER!
• Know your partner...
• How many partners has he/she had?
• Has he/she ever had unprotected sex?
• What is his/her comfort level with contraception?
• Are you sure he/she is telling you the truth?
• Is he/she just trying to get you in bed?
• Make it a habit...
• The more comfortable you are using contraception and the more consistently you use it, the easier it will be to maintain.