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Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships can look many ways and will vary with different people depending on your type of relationship. Whether a romantic, platonic or familial relationship, there are core components that can make a relationship healthier. Below are the 7 C’s of Healthy Relationships. The 7 C’s can help you identify healthy behaviors and communication practices in your relationship.

The 7 C’s of Healthy Relationships

Conflict Resolution – The ability to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement. Conflict resolution does not mean one person always gets their way - no one should feel pressured to compromise their values or boundaries. Conflict resolution also does not mean that conflicts are "bottled up" or not addressed.

Checking In – Paying attention to each other’s needs and taking each other into account when making decisions that affect both of you. It is also important to check in with yourself and assess if you feel safe, comfortable and respected in your relationship.

Consent – An enthusiastic, mutual agreement that can be revoked at any time for any reason and is necessary in all sexual interactions. Consent is also important in contexts other than sexual activity, including other kinds of physical intimacy (like hugs) and for virtual activity like taking and sharing pictures of each other. For more, visit Consent.

Courage – Choosing to address difficult topics, hear feedback and be open and honest about your feelings and needs. Courage can also include being an ally for partners and friends who are experiencing any type of harm – to read more about bystander intervention, visit BeVOCAL. Practicing courage does not mean putting yourself in situations where you feel unsafe or might experience harm.

Compassion – Thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward others and a desire to reduce distress and provide support. Practicing compassion does not require fixing others’ problems or always agreeing with others.

Celebration – Appreciation for each other and your relationship. Celebration includes excitement about each other’s hopes, dreams, and accomplishments and appreciation of each person’s uniqueness. Take time to learn how each partner prefers to celebrate and be celebrated.

Communication – Expressing needs, wants and feelings and listening for the purpose of understanding.

Changes in a Relationship

It is natural for relationships to change over time. Whether you are starting a relationship, have been in a relationship for a while or are preparing to end a relationship, it is still important to identify healthy behaviors and communication. Below are some tips for a few different periods in a relationship.

Beginning A Relationship

  • Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Practice celebrating each other and your relationship.
  • Explore each other's interests and try new things together.
  • Establish a pattern of mutual respect and accountability.

As Your Relationship Grows

  • Remember that Relationships Grow and Change. Navigating change may be confusing or difficult, but you can work together to maintain open and respectful communication and welcome change as an opportunity to enhance your relationship.
  • Check in Periodically. Set aside time to check in with each other about changing expectations and goals. Additionally, check in with yourself about what you want and need.
  • Maintain Individual Identity. Your partner will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations and respect each other’s unique interests, priorities and goals.

Ending Relationships

  • Communicate Directly and Respectfully. If you feel safe doing so, tell your partner directly that you have decided to end the relationship.
  • Take Care of Yourself. Break-ups can be difficult. Spend time with supportive friends or family, practice self-compassion and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Relationship Issues and Counseling

If you have questions or concerns about your relationship or how you are feeling, counseling may help. You are not alone. Counseling can also help you identify and address patterns in your relationships. UT students can contact the Counseling and Mental Health Center at 512-471-3515 or call the CMHC Crisis Line at 512-471-CALL (2255) for help or information about local counseling services.